Butterfly Wings
by Lianas
Summary: Living in a tiny town & all you wear is a frown, your parents wish you were never born and your heart feels ragged & torn. Depressed lonely & isolated, Bella Swan's life is about to change as one new family can make a huge impact in her town, & on her lif
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"It's not _your _fault? It's not your fault?!" The sound of a female voice spat at someone.

"Yes it's yours! Your the one spending all the money on clothes, who cares what you look like? Just because I spend _my _money on something more worthwhile, a necessity..." My fathers voice matched my mother's in volume. The bellowing of a male voice replied back.

"You call beer a _necessity? _Beer is NOT a necessity, the latest fashions however are!" The female voice screeched back.

The thin walls did little in protection in muffling the sounds of the arguement that was going down in the floor below. Bella was trying to block the voices out but they got louder and louder and she thought that she was lucky that they bought a house far away from anyone's elses in this tiny town, beause then no one would hear their shouting or screaming.

But then Bella wished that there was a neighbour nearby and that they would help her when they heard the voices and they would treat her with love and respect. The sound of glass smashing into milions oftiny pieces also broke away Bella's 'stupid and foollish' daydream and brang her crashing back to reality.

No one would ever hear her cries for help. No one would ever care.

She curled up into a ball as the sobs wracked her small and extremely thin body. She cried herself to sleep that night, just like every night.

-:-

They were still arguing. Her parents were _always _arguing.

She heard the raised voices as soon as she had woken up. It was the only thing she heard from them anymore.

She quickly had a shower and then passed the living room to get to the kitchen. Her parents were standing there, having a full blown-out arguement. Much worse than the one yesterday.

She ran into the kitchen seeking refuge from the noise, but the voices only got louder and louder, so she was forced to listen to it as she scoffed her breakfast down as fast as she could. The sooner she got out of here, the sooner she couldn't hear their angry yells.

They argued so much that it became a compulsion between them, and the more they fought, the less Bella was noticed. Her parents were so caught up in their petty arguements that they didn't know she was miserable, depressed even, that she was affected by this as much as they were, that the chance of her parents splitting up would put a huge strain on her life and force her to choose one of them. She didn't want to choose one or the other, she wanted it how they used to be, she wanted it just to be then three, as a small happy family again. But she was just kidding myself wasn't she?

She thought that they probably would both leave her alone in a ditch far, far away somewhere. She already knew that the only reason those two were still together was because of her, and now she was just ignored, as if she didn't exist to either of them. She wasn't noticed by them because they only noticed each other.

They probably didn't even know she was there, in the next room, hearing every single word that they threw at each other, every argument and siteful words scarred into her brain, the fear that possessed her as the thought of choosing who to live with if they split up, if they hadn't already forgotten about her.

She had idiotically left her bag in the living room, so she ended up having to run back in thier and snatch it quickly, trying to block the sounds that she had started to become scared and afraid to hear every day.

She had thrown on her old, tattered shoes and made a mental note to think about maybe buying a new pair in the future, when she had saved up some money. Her parents hardly ever gave her money. She got what she found. She bought the groceries, she cooked the dinners and she hardly ever ate them.

When your parents are argueing in the next room and acting as if you didn't exist, and you're being bullied at school and have no friends or anyone remotely close to you to confide in, you wouldn't feel very hungry either.

Bella began to drift off into a daydream of memories. Of happier times with her family, just those three wearing simple smiles and the only sound they would make would be thier laughter.

Maybe some day they'd be a happy family again. Maybe some day they wouldn't argue ever. Maybe some day they would notice Bella. Maybe some day.

Bella had gathered all the tiny specks of hope left inside of her, which was very minescule and fragile.

The small ball of hope burst into nothing but dust as soon as she heard Renee say, "If it weren't for Isabella I wouldn't be with you."

To make things worse, Charles had a remark to say back, "P-lease, wer both know that Isabella means nothing to either you or me, you're just sticking around because I earn a lot more money than you do as Chief of Police in this town."

The arguement continued, but Bella's heart had stopped suddenly, and she felt it burn into tiny, microscopic shreds as holes began to fill her empty heart.

It's funny how one sentence could change one person's life for either better, or worse. To Bella, this sentence broke her composure, her hopes and her dreams. She couldn't pretend everything was alright anymore, that some day they would be a happy family, that her parents did really love her, because that sentence had destroyed her, inside and out.

She didn't have to pretend to be happy anymore, because she couldn't pretend to be happy when she felt as if she was dieing inside. The pain hurt too much to force a fake smile to the rest of the world.

The rest of the world didn't care if she was smiling or depressed anyway.

She ran out into the rain, forgetting to close the door.

-

Small splashes soaked my worn and tattered black shoes as I trudged my way through the heavy downpour. It was lucky that I wore a jumper with an added hood at the back of it otherwise my hair would have looked worse than a drowned rat. I was soaking wet and I began to feel a wetness between my toes.

It looks like I would have to buy new shoes after all.

I was supposed to be going to high school, but what was the point in having further humiliation and hurt?

I just kept walking, not caring where it took me.

Was I really that ugly of a daughter? Was I really worthless? Did anyone actually care or love me?

The answer was yes, yes and no.

No one deserved to have me as a daughter, no one in thier right mind would want to have me.

I wasn't pretty or fashionable or had any great talent like playing an instrument or being good at sports. I wasn't special, I wasn't anything.

I was ugly, I only wore jeans and a T-shirt all the time and most of those were baggy. The only talent I had was my clumsiness but that was just another bad thing about me.

I was just a complete, big, fat, ugly, hideous failure.

The only thing I never failed at was my straight A's at school. Educating myself was a way of distraction against the voices creepng up on my vulnerable ears, for the pain to dissapear.

I was a failure at everything except from pretending nothing was wrong with my life, when everything was wrong and where my life didn't exist to anyone as more than a name and a face.

I was just a disgusting loser as Kelly O'Neill, the Queen Bee of the school told me and as everyone else agreed.

At school, snide remarks were made in my direction, foots just 'happened' to be there as I tripped over them, and rough shoves from thier little cliques in the corridor were by 'accident' as they slammed me against a locker wall and left a huge bruise forming on my lower back.

I touched the large bruise and immediately winced. Physically, the mark would fade, Emotionally? The scar would always be there forever, as a reminder that when push comes to shove, everyone hated me.

I was a nobody, and normally nobody's had other nobody's as friends, right?

But I was a freak among the nobody's, a misfit that never fit in, a monster that everyone loathed and despised.

Would anyone care if I was found dead in the bottom of the ditch I just walked by?

Would anyone stop and help if they saw me being hit by a car? Or would they just leave me lying there as the driver drove away?

Would anyone actually cry at my funeral, would anyone actually attend?

The simple answer was no.

They wouldn't even say, "Isabella who?" when they heard, they'd probably throw a big party in my absense and my parents would finally get what they wished for.

A life without me.

At that minute, right there and then, I decided that I would just make it easier for everyone and myself.

They wouldn't have to put up with me anymore, I wouldn't have t put up with the pain and isolation anymore.

I would just be another name and number on a list of the dead.

Just another person who died, just another person no one cared about. Just another teenager with suicide written as the cause of death on the certificate. No one would miss me, and no one would remember me.

And the searing pain in my heart would stop, just as it would stop beating.

-:-

Sorry for the bit when it was in 3rd person and then in 1st. I found it easier to write like that first of all.

Please review! Or was it just that bad?

**Information:**

**Bella is 16 and a sophomore. **

**Kelly isn't her sister in this one.**

**One of the Cullens are in the next chapter for definite, but I _might _have a different opinion on that depending how many people like this story. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

_An: I'm sorry if the 3rd and 1st person writing style confused you last chapter. _

_Thanks to all that reviewed. _

_One of the Cullen's will be in this chapter._

**Chapter Two**

The dull clouds seemed to follow me wherever I walked.

I would leave this town before I died. It's not like anyone wanted me to stay, or even noticed or like me enough to even say anything to me anyway. My parents wouldn't announce me missing until a week or two when they have enough of their stupid arguing and instead focused on food, which they would want me to cook. Then they would notice that the laundry hadn't been done, or the ironing or the house cleaning...or anything. Only when they wanted something they would find me useful, and when my purpose was done, they would ignore me and hate me until my purpose came again.

And I had enough of being used.

School wasn't much different either. They all hated me, they all ignored me, they all just stood gossiping in their overly happily lives, whilst I was stuck being the pathetic loser they all wanted me to be.

I didn't want to be ignored, I wanted to be noticed.

And I would be, when I was gone from this town. All the local tabloids and media would be on my case. It's funny that only when you're missing you get the things you want. Such as most painters were only famous after they died and I? I would finally get noticed, but not in the way I hoped. It was only when I wasn't there, they would want my presence but if I returned, they would hate me again.

I passed the sign which said, '_Now Leaving Forks' _in its bold, capital white letters against the dark green plaque. It almost blended in with the trees.

Turning around, my eyes drifted over the small town, or what I could see of it. I felt a single tear stroll gently down my cheek, and soon my hand brushed it away. Crying was a sign of weakness, to show that they had won.

I couldn't let them win one last time.

I soldiered on, through the rain, through the cold, sticking to the outskirts of the forest. No cars noticed or stopped to see what I was doing out here in the middle of the day, a mere school girl walking near the highway.

I didn't know where I was going but I kept going until the clouds had turned more grey and angry looking. With thunder and lightening streaking the sky, as the rain pattered harshly on the hard ground.

Only then I stopped.

I decided to seek refuge from the storm but the forest wasn't the safest place to be, was it? Nor was the highway, and suddenly for one second, I regretted my decision to run away foolishly like the cowardly high school kid I was.

And then it was gone. So what I was running away? So what it was foolish of me? So what if I had food and shelter back there, what's the use of these basic strutures of life when I couldn't even enjoy life?

I was just breathing, eating, living but was I truly _living? _I wasn't happy, I had no friends, no one to talk to, no one who loved me. Why would that be called a _life?_

I could feel the cold getting to me, and I soon began to feel the soaking wetness of my clothes, the holes in my shoes, the tattered and thin jacket I had on was barely keeping me warm. I was shivering violently and coughing every ten seconds before my body curled itself up into a ball. The harsh winds were licking the wet drops on my face and bare skin making my already freezing body start to drop a few degrees.

I didn't know at which point I fell asleep, but I felt my eyes closing and could not fight it.

-:-

I woke up to warmth, so I knew immediately I wasn't by the highway.

I glanced up and all I saw was white tiles. I lifted my head and a sharp stinging sensation scorched the back of my head for a few seconds before I started to get dizzy. I pulled myself up and noticed the same white wash walls surrounding me and the same horrible lime green door for the patient doors.

I was in Forks Hospital.

I was a failure at everything, I could not even run away properly without being back here in this stupid, horrible town. I was so stupid, why did I have to ruin my chance of getting away? Why am I so dumb and stupid and ugly? I could feel the self-hatred within me build beyond the point where I started to pull on my hair so harshly a few clumps of hair fell out. I looked at my lanky, lifeless hair and dropped it quickly before my hands went to hide my face as I began to sob and cry uncontrollably.

I was so frustrated with myself, I had promised to do this one thing, this _one _thing for me and I couldn't even do it. I couldn't even run away.

I ripped the stupid IV off and the other multiple wires on my body before getting down off the bed. What I wasn't ready for however was the dizziness that set in as soon as I pushed myself off the bed. The room was spinning madly and I felt the pull of gravity pull me down as I swayed from side to side as I stepped. My face hit the floor and luckily didn't hit anything on the way down.

I pushed myself up again and the voices of two or three people arguing. I quickly got up and sat on the bed to stop the dizzying effects for now. As the voices got closer, I noticed that there were three people talking, and two voices I recognised and one I did not.

"You called us down here because our daughter was found on the highway and has been asleep for almost a week because she was dehydrated and she had hypothermia for a few days?" The female screeching of my mother could be heard.

"Couldn't you have called if it were more urgent? Perhaps her death? Don't call us again unless she's dead, got it?" My father's throaty voice said after my mothers.

Well at least that's one thing they agree on, they hate me and didn't and still do not want me in their lives at all.

Like that ever changed.

"Renee and Charles, don't you want to know how your own _daughter _is doing?" The smooth masculine voice sounded throughly disgusted, and surprisingly he was the first one to actually sound like they cared. Even a stranger cares more about me than anyone else does.

"No. Now don't contact us again." Renee spoke harshly.

I could hear their retreating footsteps and the sound of footsteps approaching. The doctor, I assumed opened the door and in an urgent tone, "Isabella, you should be in bed! And why are your wires out?" I looked at him and saw that he looked gorgeous. Blonde hair, tall, blue eyes with a lean frame. I didn't care if I got a hot doctor or not, all I cared about right now was crawling into a ditch and dieing.

He started to draw closer to me to usher me back into bed to check on me, but he stopped short at my words. "I'm never good enough am I? Not for my parents, not for my peers, nor for my school, not for anyone. So what's the point in trying anymore, when all I do is fail?"

"Isabella-"

"It's Bella. Not like you care anyway." I added the last bit in a whisper, hoping he wouldn't hear.

"Bella, first of all get into bed." I did as obeyed and he attached the wires back onto me. "Second of all, who cares what people think of you? It's only the opinions of the people you love and your opinion that truly counts and giving up is what is true failure."

"Nice little speech and all, but it's not like you give a damn about me anyway." _No one does. _I added in my mind. My words were harsh, I knew but I didn't want to get my hopes up that someone actually cared about me and all along it was just pretend. I already knew how that felt and went, and it hurt. Deeply.

"Why should I not care for you?"

"Look, could you please stop with the Q & A? I just want to get out of here and back to my house." I think he translated my last word. Instead of using home I used house, because it wasn't exactly home was it? I didn't have a home, all I had was a roof over my head, food, furniture and two parents who cared nothing for me.

He checked my condition and then proceeded to let me go.

"Bella?"

"Yes Dr..."

"Carlisle Cullen."

"Yes Dr. Cullen?"

"You can go to school tomorrow so I expect no skiving and my son and daughter will be there to pick you up in the morning." _Yeah, Right. Like I'll believe that. _

"Your daughter and son?"

"Yes, they're starting you're school tomorrow, their names are Alice and Edward. Edward's in your year, a Junior like you but Alice is a Senior."

I plastered a fake smile on and said sweetly, "Can't wait." As I walked out the door.

Tomorrow was going to be like laying on a bed of nails naked and rolling off it onto a spiked carpet.

How great.

-:-

AN: sorry that I haven't updated in weeks it's just that my laptop has died and deleted this chapter so I had to rewrite it again.

My laptop is permenantly dead and I'm now using my sister's who needs it for college so I won't be able to update as often because of her heavy work load and stuff.

Until next time!

**Please hit the little review button and make my day (: I had stupid exams all day and I feel like dieing but still wrote this chapter so pretty please leave me a nice comment.**


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